Dear Books . . . Signed, A Frustrated Reader -- A DNF Review

Dear The Queen Of The Tearling & Days Like This,

      As I'm composing this letter, I'm suddenly aware of how irritated I am. Actually scratch the word irritated, I am pissed the hell off at this point! I had very HIGH expectations for the both of you, and unfortunately I was let down . . . TREMENDOUSLY

Let's start with you Queen Of The Tearling. Do you even realize how boring you are? I mean come on, you truly expected me to trudge through 440+ pages of absolutely nothing? The chapters are sooooo freaking long, that I fell asleep 5 times trying to finish chapter 4! How in the hell does one fall asleep in the BEGINNING of a story huh? Top that with Kelsea a.k.a the " clueless " queen with the fact that there's NO ROMANCE and you have yourself an epic snore fest! Now don't get me wrong, romance isn't necessary in every book that I read, but when you write sentences like " He's so handsome ", " He made my cheeks flush, " and the kicker " My face grew hot when he touched me, " then guess what? Your misleading me, and there's nothing worse than a uhhh, a uh . . . whatever word you would use for a person who misleads people! (Can I get some help here google or nah?

I was going through a promising recovery from my reading funk, and here you come along kicking my ass right back down into the bottomless pit! So you know what? Take your ridiculously long chapters, naive main character who cares more about her appearance than her kingdom, and your boring-ness and shove it far up . . . somewhere!

Days Like This. I don't have much to say to you besides the fact that you should be FUCKING ASHAMED of yourself! Your main character Cassie was the biggest dickhead I've ever read about in my entire life! First of all she's 19 and she leaves home because (1) Her next door neighbor/boyfriend Graham proposed, and (2) her mother was bipolar and as Cassie claimed was " too much to handle. " I was utterly speechless as I was reading, and I got so tired of Cassie and her shit that I threw in the towel just before I made it to chapter 5. Her mom is suffering from a mental illness so she selfishly leaves? Cassie's boyfriend proposes, and because her dad left her mom when she was young, she's suffering from the, " I'm so afraid to be in love " syndrome? I call bullshit. Not to mention you tried wayyyy too hard to be " deep " but really it just all reminded me of the sound a heavy turd makes when it hits the water in the toilet . . . BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP, SHITTY!

This letter could go on for days if I continued to rant about you filthy scoundrels, so I'm going to cut my loses, throw up the deuces, and pray to the bookish gods that I don't ever have to come across bs like this again. 

I hope your spines break and your pages get waterlogged.

Signed, A very ANGRY and FRUSTRATED reader.

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